Monday, April 25, 2005

Optimism, vitality and other evasive qualities

A major wish for this trip is that I can lose some baggage. Not literal baggage, I'm not flying Qantas, but pent up sorrows and regrets from the past can go.

I want to be as alive as Shirley Maclaine's Charity singing I'm a Brass Band.

I'm a brass band- Charity


I'm crazily burning CDs onto my laptop in the way that only a music addict with a compulsive personality could. 4gig on the iPod isn't enough- I need more things on hard disc in case!

A song that I would normally avoid used the vagaries of technology to launch at me unexpectedly. It reminds me of the last time that I felt truly optimistic and that the whole being alive game was worth it. I was in love with Jase, the now passed sk8r who I'll sometimes allude to.

So here's the song. Imagine, if you will, a giant festival on a pleasantly warm day in Melbourne. I have only met Jase the night before but I know that this is the one. As day settles into evening, a cool breeze is blowing across the huge oval and I am half asleep in his lap, listening to PJ Harvey for time four on this tour. For a few minutes the mirage we call happiness appears.

Of course, I was wrong in more ways than I care to list.

Good Fortune- PJ Harvey

Threw my bad fortune
Of the top of
A tall building
I'd rather have done it with you

Your boy's smile
Five in the morning
Looked into your eyes
And I was really in love

In Chinatown
Hung over
You showed me
Just what I could do

Talking about
Time travel
And the meaning
Just what it was worth

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
Innocence of a child
Everybody's got something good to say

Things I once thought
unbelievable my life
Have all taken place
When we walked through
Little Italy
I saw my reflection
Come right off your face

I paint pictures
To remember
You're too beautiful
To put into words
Like a gypsy
You dance in circles
All around me
And all over the world

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
Innocence of a child
Everybody's got something good to say

So I take my
Good fortune
And I fantasize
Of our leaving
Like some modern-day Gypsy landslide
Like some modern day Bonnie and Clyde
On the run again
On the run again

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