Thursday, June 23, 2005

Good Intentions

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, it seems all too clear where I'm heading. I would like that there was more published here. I'm still finding a voice again. I am yet to distill everything that happened on my trip into articulate observations.

I am much changed, all of it for the better.

Some of the personal legal matters that called me home have resolved in my favour this week. The bigger victory is finding that I no longer have the requisite negative energy to continue hating the person who is the source of my legal troubles. One of us just had a fabulous trip to NY, the other is in gaol. Perhaps the universe does distribute some form of justice?

Being free of hatred is something for which I most joyfully thank God. Hate is a horrible place to live.

I hope that you will choose to be tolerant of my apparent lethargy and persist with this 'travelblog'. Whatever else it is, this is an experiment in progress.

I'm thinking very broadly about the future. I try very hard not to be too limited by conventional wisdom or the appearance that things may be impossible. One conclusion is that I should like to act. I don't know much of what that means. I've been acting all my life. Self-awareness makes acting a natural state of being, one of the causes of the great angst that plagues our time. Blame Freud. The sex fixated, Viennese, cocaine addict apparently knew a lot about it all.

Perhaps an acting school is my next step? The stage interests me the most. A solo performance piece to stage in NY isn't an unreasonable ambition.

Stick around, the Hotel Chelsea effect is manifesting in me, I think.

If I write On the Road shoot me and make sure it's never published, OK viewers?

p.s. yes, i owe you email. i am, in the australian vernacular, a slack arsed moll. mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. catching up will be easier with the legal games off my plate for now.


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